She told me to stand completely still and she “took what she wanted from me”. I was nervous and a bit confused but willing to expand my horizons. We had only known each other for a couple of months at this point but had already evolved into teaching partners and lovers.

A mentor of mine, Pamela Madsen, talks about consuming sex. She talks about how as a society we Consume Sexuality but not always Participate. Participation is vulnerable. Participation can also be unaccessible. Porn is Not our Enemy. Porn is Entertainment, and we as a species love to be entertained. People are obsessed with baseball teams, football, hockey, soccer, and they may not play the game. They may follow the score, watch all the games.

Rapid ejaculation can be an ongoing issue in relationships.
I will share that I, too, believed it to be a big problem for me when I was experiencing cumming too quickly. I have climaxed from just being highly aroused, and the thought or the slightest touch from a woman would bring me to orgasm. Embarrassing, yes. A let down in the moment, yes. A compliment to the woman and the situation, yes.

I lay in my bed one afternoon, setting aside 30 minutes for self pleasure, feeling soft everywhere. My heart, my body and my cock. I did not really feel like being erotic. I could feel the pressure I apply to myself in life with work and family responsibilities seeping through into my relationship to the erotic. I could feel myself trying to figure out how to ignite a spark of arousal in my genitals and was feeling stuck.

I have had women colleagues flat out tell me “Boo hoo, poor men,” when I have shared details about the reality of being a man and the challenges that came up for me and the other men I work with. This disregard has been infuriating and also added to my own silence. In sharing what I’m about to share, which is very personal, this silence has had an impact on how I relate to other men and the challenges that arise for them.

Mental context sets the stage for high physical arousal in a very short amount of time. Basically a taboo core erotic theme can be used to enhance your access to pleasure.

It must be understood when playing with taboo erotics that neither partner have any intention of acting out the things that they may come up with. Clear agreements between partners must be in place when exploring realms that feel risky. But, when you find someone (partner or practitioner) you can trust to explore this with it is truly life changing and mind altering.

Sex organs are constantly relaying information about our deeper feeling whether we notice or not. It is common to hear this is true for women; their pussy's often being a clear barometer of their truth and resonance between their inner landscape, their outside world and what is happening (although non-concordance is a common experience for many). Yet we hardly hear this can also be true for Men and their cocks. As a cock owner, if you tune in beyond your critical mind, you may discover moments when you have experienced something you have been authentically enjoying with your full self and you may have also experienced when something isn't quite right and you experience a discrepancy between your mind, body and your cock.